Cats. And Books.

 

First Time Owner’s Guide for Cats

Or

A look at cat ‘ownership.’ Just kidding. Like anyone could ever own a cat

 

Congratulations! You’re a new cat parent. (Or you’ve just brought home an adorable, furry overlord)

 

There are many lists on the internet that talk about the proper feeding and care of our beloved feline friends.  Some of them don’t tell you the things below. As a courtesy, here are some helpful hints for the newly minted guardians of a Felis Catus Domesticus.

 

FEEDING:  If the food dish is not completely covered in dry food and you can see the color of the bowl, you will discover that to your cat, this means you are trying to starve them.  Here is a helpful tip to prevent pitiful crying and sad Disney-cat eyes. After kitty is done eating, shake the bowl of nibbles back to the center of dish to make it look full again. This may or may not fool them, but it’s worth a shot. If they look down at it and then look up at you with disdain…it did not work. Maybe just refill the bowl.

 

PLANTS:  You can successfully have plants and cats. They can live in perfect harmony. Okay, maybe that is not exactly true. As a new cat parent, you should try to understand the unusual relationship between cats and houseplants. You will need to take special precautions to defend your poor defenseless plants.  In a cat’s eyes, a plant is a useful enemy. A big beautiful pot with a pretty plant can be a great place to dig. The fun of throwing black soil all over the place with joy and abandon may never be understood by humans. Cats find it especially advantageous if the target plant happens to be placed on a white or cream colored rug. Once dirt is artfully covering the floor and plant is knocked onto its side in defeat, it’s time for kitty to roll its body in the fresh smelling, earthy soil of utter victory. They think this is especially advantageous if they are white or cream colored cats. Apparently, sometimes plants are also to be battled using teeth, claws, and rapid-fire bunny kicks—so new cat parents must make sure their plants are not poisonous to cats. The best advice is to keep plants safe from cats and vice versa. (A list of poisonous plants (for cats) can be found online here )

https://www.hillspet.com/cat-care/routine-care/house-plants-toxic-to-cats

 

DÉCOR:  Anything a human carelessly leaves on countertops, dressers, nightstands or bookshelves is subject to be moved to a new location by your darling fluff-nugget.  Cats, just by the sheer nature of being superior interior designers, reserve the right to redecorate your place at any time. To cats, keys, coins, vitamin bottles, half full glasses of water, paperclips, mail, priceless artwork, and paperbacks… look much better on the floor. (They reserve the right to add items to the ‘better on the floor’ look at all hours of the day or night.)

 

SHOPPING:  With your new cat, you will have a brand new excuse, er…reason to spend money on Amazon. You could buy a plethora of toys for your love-muffin online, but they will love you so much more for providing the box in which the items came. Helpful Hint:  Have boxes. Keep boxes. All sizes and shapes. They provide both human (watching) and cats (performing) hours of entertainment. For extra fun, record and upload to your social media. People cannot get enough of cats. Ever. That’s a good thing!

 

JUDGEMENT:  Yes, your cat may be judging you, but at least they do it silently—and then a moment later, they are giving you head bumps and sweet leg rubs with loud purrs to let you know how much they accept your weirdness and love you anyway. Also, cats can also mask your odd habits. For example:  Talking to oneself all the time might be considered strange, but with the addition of your new feline friend, you will never worry about your constant self-talk or fret about what your neighbors or family members think about your habit should they overhear you. After the installation of a new cat friend in your home, you can now simply add, “Right, Kitty?” after whatever you say aloud and it becomes perfectly normal. Example:  “I can’t believe I bought 72 cans of cat food but I forgot the reason I went into the store to begin with. Um…well, that’s okay. It’s all good. Right, kitty?”  Perfectly fine. Reasonable. Sane. Not talking to oneself. At all.

 

CALLING YOUR CAT:  A helpful hint for dog parents who are now becoming cat parents:  A cat blissfully hidden will not come when you call its name—unless it absolutely wants to. When a cat is comfortably sleeping under your clean clothes in the laundry basket, simply calling their name most likely will not work. The cat will hear you and simply choose not to acknowledge your call. Dog owners everywhere find this hard to understand. Helpful Hint:  When you absolutely need your cat to come out from its special secret place:   Shake the treat box.  That cat will come running almost every time.  If you’ve run out of treats (egad!) but its pertinent that you find your kitty, try pulling a pop-top from a can of wet food.  These are two sounds a cat cannot resist. Remember these tips when getting ready to go to the vet. Cats sense the inevitable car ride within the confines of a cat carrier and tend to hide. Helpful Hint:  Never get the cat carrier out until the moment you are ready to put the cat inside. The carrier is a Red Alert to most cats.

 

ALONE TIME:  Cat’s don’t demand a lot of attention for the most part. They are delightfully independent creatures—regal beings that know their own mind. They like to do cat things on their own time and they usually don’t wait for you to entertain them. There is one exception.  When you need to use the bathroom—a cat will immediately stop what they are doing or awaken from a coma-like sleep, and demand to join you. If you rudely close the door and lock it, you will see little paws under the door desperately trying to open the door and get inside to save you from something? Or you’ll hear the most plaintive, pitiful cries on the other side of the door. I mean, they sometimes act as though you are in imminent danger and they must hurry in to protect you. Now that you’ve adopted a cat, you never have to go to the bathroom alone. They won’t let you. I’m not sure there is a scientific reason for this obsession, but as cat guardians know…they will get in somehow. Most of the time it’s because you can’t stand to hear their cries of urgency and see those tiny paws under the door longing for your company and assurance. Helpful Hint: Just let ‘em in. They probably will just lay on the floor and proceed to nonchalantly groom themselves as though they hadn’t acted in desperation a minute before. Helpful Hint:  Although they demand to watch you…they will not like it if you even glance at them while they are doing their business.  Strange, I know. But, cats.

 

MOST IMPORTANT:  Prepare to fall in love like never before. Cats are magical creatures. You will not understand why or how they have stolen your heart so quickly, but at some point, you will realize you love that critter more than you thought possible! At that point, just give in and admit how much you adore your new addition and celebrate the accomplishment. You need only to look at them and you will smile. It’s pure enchantment. They have you and you have them. Life is better with a cat. No doubt.

 

Helpful Hint:   If you have not yet joined the ranks of Cat Gaurdian…or you want to add to your cat family,

Port City Cat Rescue has the following kitties just waiting to be chosen!